


the warmth of your embrace

by BaekwDae



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Lots of Cursing, M/M, Pining, and tiny bit of chansoo, baekhyun just tries to show his love but keeps failing and that’s it, don’t take it too seriously, one sided chenyeol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 20:17:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12638403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaekwDae/pseuds/BaekwDae
Summary: Baekhyun finds out how hard it is to confess to his best friend that he is in love with him when they are already ridiculously close (aka story in which Baekhyun and Jongdae are hopelessly dumb)





	the warmth of your embrace

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first fic I ever wrote for this pairing, so I hope you’ll enjoy reading it!  
> I also want to thank my betas for their help :)  
> have a nice week, everyone!!

Baekhyun dragged his feet involuntarily, scowling slightly as he followed his friends down the hall. They kept urging him to go faster since lunch time was busy and they wanted to find a good spot where everyone could sit together. His pace was becoming slower and slower until he felt sharp jab into his ribs from Jongin. Baekhyun hissed, seething with venom, but he immediately picked up a faster tempo. 

He knew that he was acting like a brat, but he had his reasons. Maybe having a tantrum in front of his class, where he was supposed to meet his best friend Jongdae who decided not to show up, wasn’t the wisest decision he ever made - but he had reasons. Even if they were all related to an uncontrollable desire to see said best friend who was the only one able to comfort him about his shitty Monday.

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes at him, looking just as tired as Baekhyun felt, and he knew it was because of his own moodiness. However, he actually had an absolute right to act this way and be a shitty friend, okay? Because he had his reasons. 

He weaved his way through huddles of students, not really caring if he crashed into somebody. He let himself yield to the heavy weight that continued to crash his soul every passing second, the weight of betrayal and loneliness that would suffocate him until his very last breath-

“Stop being so fucking over dramatic, I can smell your rotten thoughts full of misery even from here,” Kyungsoo grunted with the slightest hint of frustration. 

He totally wasn’t being over dramatic at all, Baekhyun thought, his mouth forming a permanent pout. Life was meaningless anyway without any source of light left in the sight, wasn’t it? It didn’t really matter. Nothing really fucking mattered in his pathetic sad life because he was going to end up forever alone, forgotten by his most favourite person who didn’t seem to care about him at all-

“You don’t even know where he is. He could be just running late, you idiot, no way he would forget about you. You two wouldn’t survive one day without each other anyway,” Despite Kyungsoo’s disgusted face, he placed his hand on Baekhyun’s nape in comforting manner. Baekhyun let out a sigh and relaxed his tense shoulders.

When they arrived, the canteen was already full (as usual) with hungry students who had rushed from their classes to fill their stomachs. The line was already long enough for the wait to last a few minutes and his friends all groaned loudly. Especially Jongin and Sehun. The two youngest boys complained about the urgent need to eat as they were growing still unlike their hyungs, voices mocking. 

Baekhyun stood glancing around, eyes staying on everyone for a second before moving to somebody else. Sehun noticed, devilish smirk forming on his lips, as he decided to pour out his frustration on his unknowing target.

“Looking for something hyung? Or rather someone?” despite his gleeful tone, he tilted his head, faking innocence.

“Let him be, Sehun,” Jongin cut him off. “He clearly isn’t ready to come out of the closet yet. It takes time. You should know.”

“Please,” Sehun rolled his eyes. “If he wasn’t in so deep maybe he would have an actual chance with some certain hot virgin ass whose owner’s name starts with J and ends with ong-“

“Move,” Baekhyun growled, pushing them as less students stood in front of them. Lowering his head, he tried to hide the redness in his cheeks. He didn’t need the content of his wet dreams known for the world. Plus he wasn’t really in the mood to discuss his feelings, however friendly and platonic totally-not-in-love-with-his-best-friend they were. 

When they finally got their trays with food, they faced another problem when they searched for a table with enough seats for all of them. At the first table they found, Baekhyun gently (or not so gently) pushed Kyungsoo against some first year to save space for himself and Jongdae. Kyungsoo vigorously shoved back so in the end he was glad he had a seat for himself. 

Letting out exaggerated sigh, he kept his arms to his sides with how little space he had. Now he was only half-sitting on the end of the short bench with glaring Kyungsoo beside him. Things couldn’t get any better, really. 

However, they still had some classes left and it wasn’t like Baekhyun would let Jongdae be hungry. He already started planning how much food he could sneak out without Kyungsoo noticing. 

“What are you doing?” Kyungsoo asked, already ready to scold him.

Baekhyun continued stabbing his food with his fork, “Nothing,” he replied innocently, “Do you think he’s on his way already?” He asked instead, craning his head.

Sehun laughed loudly, succeeding in making a catapult out of his fork and shoelaces, hitting a surprised Jongin in the chin with his broccoli while the flustered boy picked up a carrot to get his revenge. Kyungsoo eyed him warily, clearly judging.

“Maybe I should go look for him…,” Baekhyun started, dejected.

“C’mon hyung, we know it’s hard to keep it in your pants, but this is a lot even for you,” Jongin jumped in, slowly blinking at him like he didn’t know what dangerous thing he just said, looking so innocent with broccoli still stuck on his chin that Baekhyun didn’t even had it in him to scoff at him. 

“There you are!” a cheery voice suddenly rang in his ear and Baekhyun swore he just lost twenty five years of his life from the shock. 

“Finally,” Baekhyun screamed loudly before throwing arms around his friend’s waist, hoping with all his might Jongdae didn’t hear anything of his previous conversation with the rest of his friends. “They were so mean to me, never leave me again- wait, where were you?” Baekhyun exclaimed loudly, craning his head to look at his friend’s face.

“There was one really difficult calculation and I just didn’t get it? Mr. Wu refused to let anyone go until everybody’s got the correct answer, it was torture,” Jongdae made an adorable face, his lower lip jutting out and Baekhyun ignored his heart clenching. With a nod he let Jongdae know that he forgiven him. “There’s no place for me to sit.”

“Your fault that you weren’t on time,” Baekhyun said coldly, in pretended annoyance, before taking a huge bite of his fish like he didn’t just spend the last thirty minutes in living hell because of Jongdae’s unexplained absence.

“Aww, someone’s sulky,” Jongdae laughed at him, seeing right through him, before sliding onto his lap. Baekhyun instinctively wrapped his arms around him, too used to the comfortable weight on his legs. He signed dreamily when Jongdae's familiar scent surrounded him and pressed his nose between his shoulder-blades in not so secret attempt to get more. 

He caught Chanyeol, the annoying giant, looking at them intently, his eyes locked on Baekhyun’s arm around Jongdae’s waist. Although Chanyeol was generally well liked, Baekhyun found himself unable to stand him as he was always staring at Jongdae’s ass, a privilege that belonged only to Baekhyun as Jongdae’s best friend. Baekhyun stuck out his tongue at him until he huffed and finally looked away, offended.

“What?” Baekhyun said as all their friends stared at them, bringing Jongdae closer to him. Kyungsoo signed and continued his discussion with the others on test for Biology next week. 

Baekhyun could finally relax as warmth filled him, enveloping him. He wouldn’t change this for a world.

 

 

Baekhyun yawned loudly, making himself more comfortable at the table he was seated at.

“If you want to pass this test, pay attention because I definitely won’t let you cheat off this one,” Kyungsoo’s elbow mercilessly dug into Baekhyun’s ribs and he didn’t have other choice than to dodge, trying to avoid his attack.

“Kyungsoo-,” he tried to whine directly in his ear but said boy just shushed him.

“No. Not happening,” he said, without an ounce of pity and Baekhyun pouted, crossing his arms. Only Jongdae’s and Jongin’s whining ever worked on Kyungsoo. It wasn’t fucking fair.

“Why are you so tired anyway? Did you finally confess to him yesterday? I hope you used protection,” Kyungsoo questioned, eyeing him distrustfully.

“Wh- What, no! Kyungsoo, what the fuck? Why do you think we were together anyway? It’s not like we are attached by the hip, you know,” Baekhyun gushed at him, stumbling over his words, but an unconvinced Kyungsoo didn’t move a muscle.

“But yeah, you see, Jongdae and I had our weekly Tuesday marathon and we watched this really scary movie and it was like really really scary but Jongdae wasn’t afraid at all but I kind of was and– Not that I would fear something that’s not real but- fine, I was fucking terrified, stop judging me okay? So Jongdae let me hide my face into his shoulder and he was so nice about it and said we could play games instead and cuddled with me untill I fell asleep? And- “

“Stop. Please shut up.” Kyungsoo looked disgusted by Baekhyun’s mushy words, turning his head away from the sounds he was hearing. 

“I’m just trying to say that we didn’t do anything except playing games and cuddling.” Baekhyun stated defensively, and Kyungsoo eyed him again, seemingly debating with himself. 

Finally, after a long moment, he told Baekhyun: “You know what? Wait for me after school. We need to talk.”

 

 

“I don’t get it. Why does everybody think I’m in love with Jongdae?” Baekhyun asked as he kicked some pebbles out of his way, annoyance evident in his voice after another awful afternoon which he spent being teased by all his friends about his ‘feelings’ for Jongdae. It was getting worse day by day, and he just wanted to sort it all out already. Who could help him better than his official second best friend, Kyungsoo? 

“Maybe because you’re staring at him all the time like some stalker, being gross by talking about his ass constantly, plus you two have literally no concept of personal space.” Kyungsoo listed nonchalantly.

“I don’t do that!” he immediately disagreed, denying Kyungsoo’s accusations before thinking about what his best friend had just said, “Well maybe, but that’s just what best friends do.” Besides, Baekhyun just had appreciation for beauty, so it wasn’t such a big deal everyone made it out to be. 

“They really don’t. Trust me, I would never ever even want to think about your ass.”

“That’s because you’re murderer in the body of seventeen year old child who lacks any kind of human emotion.” Baekhyun murmured under his breath.

“Run,” a barely audible whisper was all the warning that he got. “Run or you’re fucking done this time,” Kyungsoo leaped out at him. Thanks to years of practise, Baekhyun swiftly dodged and began running for his life, the bitter taste of near death on his tongue.

After one headlock later, with Baekhyun still massaging his neck and Kyungsoo looking more relaxed than he did during the entire week, the two of them finally sat down under nearby tree to shelter from the burning sun, calm enough for more important discussion.

“I’m not joking this time, I’m serious okay? I really don’t get it.” There was no way for Baekhyun to know what Kyungsoo saw on his face plastered with sweat, but his friend’s eyes softened, looking deep in thought.

“Okay. So, what exactly do you feel for him?” Kyungsoo’s tone was patient, and Baekhyun knew that he sincerely wanted to help him out.

“I don’t think I like like him that way. He’s my best friend and all but...” How could Baekhyun possibly feel anything more than friendship for him? Jongdae was the closest person in his life, knowing his secrets and flaws, still loving him all the same. Jongdae was special to him. 

“Did you ever feel attraction for anybody else? Or just liked them that way?” Kyungsoo asked, inquisitive.

Well, Baekhyun actually tried to fall in love, many times, but it was only ever trying as it never really happened. He never felt something more for a girl, later figuring out he was gay, but still never really wanted to get closer to any boy, because they just lacked the special warmth that was so hard to find and their smiles were never really bright enough for him to forget about the world.

Okay. So maybe his ideal type would be someone like Jongdae, but the idea of being in love with him was just ridiculous. He was sure he just hadn’t found the right person yet and that was fine because there was still a lot of time for it to happen.

“Ehm, not really?”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo let out an exasperated sigh which was confusing because what did Baekhyun do this time? “Now, tell me what do you like about Jongdae?”

“Why? You know him.”

“Just do it, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo waited for him to speak up, his eyes sliding along Baekhyun’s face knowingly. 

“Well, okay, geez, don’t give me that look- I really appreciate that he’s so affectionate? He always makes me feel better and I can tell him everything. He would never judge me. And he sings so well. Sometimes when I’m really upset he sings to me and it calms me down every time. He laughs at all my jokes, no matter how stupid they are, and his laugh is really loud, but I always get this warm feeling?”  
Even now he could feel the smile tugging at his lips, cherishing all the memories he recalled. “Just thinking about him makes me happy and I don’t even know why. His ass-“ he stopped himself as Kyungsoo’s eyebrows rose, trying hard to save the rest of his dignity, “-his eyes are so kind, he’s kind to everybody, even to that jerk Park Chanyeol, who’s such a brat-“ 

“Wait, still nothing?“ Kyungsoo asked him, studying his face.

“What?” he regretted his words as soon as he spoke them, because his friend’s face fell, and for a second Baekhyun saw a glimpse of true desperation before his expression became neutral again. 

“Ah never mind, what is it about Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo’s cheeks had a slightest tint of red on them, but Baekhyun’s focus was elsewhere.

“He flirts with Jongdae all the time! Gosh, you should see him, who does he think he is? As Jongdae’s best friend, it’s my responsibility to protect him from some idiot who just tries to get into his pants. Jongdae deserves better, he deserves someone who loves him and wants the best for him, someone like-“ me.

Well, shit.

“Shit.”

Baekhyun was in love with his best friend.

He was fucking fucked.

“So I see you finally found out. It’s getting pretty late, I have to go home now, thank me later.” Kyungsoo waved him goodbye and if Baekhyun’s mind wasn’t in turmoil this very moment, he would call him out on being so insensitive and dead inside. Now Baekhyun had much more important and complicated things to deal with.

Shit. How could he just love Jongdae that way and not know? What? What if all of this is just some overprotective instinct that all best friends have? Some built-in mechanism? Yeah, that had to be it.

“Kyungsoo, what if-“ he started, desperate to feel the ground beneath his feet again.

“No not again, I’m not going through this again. Be a fucking man and accept it or never talk to me again. Continue to suppress your feelings like you’ve done all this years and die alone.” Kyungsoo’s tone was cold and unforgiving and if Baekhyun hadn’t been friends with him since childhood, he would fear Kyungsoo meant it.

With that, Kyungsoo grabbed his backpack and walked away without sparing Baekhyun a final glance.

Baekhyun was torn between crying or laughing or maybe screaming before the panic set in.

Gaping, he reached out to the retreating boy in a last attempt to stop him. “Wait, what the fuck am I supposed to do?” 

 

 

That night he laid awake, eyes glued to the stars which twinkled like the sparks in the brown eyes of which he always adored, for they were so full of life. Now he understood the slight tingling in his chest whenever he heard that familiar laughter. Thinking back, maybe he loved Jongdae right from the start, hence why it was never weird for him to feel that way towards him. 

It was just always there.

When they were younger they held hands wherever they went because that just felt right, being near each other every chance they got. When adults asked him what he wanted to be, he just answered that he wanted to be with Jongdae. Wasn’t it obvious? Was there anything better? He didn’t need to know. He doubted that there was.

That night he came to realize a lot of things. He never understood why he sometimes felt jealous when Jongdae looked away, always curious, getting closer to other people instead, always so friendly and open with everyone. Now he recognized that it wasn’t just some hurt best friend’s pride, but so much more. 

Just as he remembered past memories, he couldn’t help but wonder about the future, too. Did Jongdae feel the same? What if he rejected him or Baekhyun would ruin everything? Or should he just keep these things unsaid for the sake of their friendship? He could deal with a burning heart but he didn’t think he could survive losing so many pieces of it. They belonged to Jongdae, for as long as he could remember. He just couldn’t risk losing someone so important to him like this.

He wished all things were as simple as they had been when he was younger.

His head throbbed with worry and when he finally closed his eyes, it was 4:21 a.m. His dream was filled with bright eyes and warm smiles and he woke up with painful longing in his chest. 

 

 

As he raced to school, he realized that the first period he had was with Jongdae and his heart beat a tad bit faster. Fuck, who the hell did he think he was that he didn’t need sleep? He suddenly remembered they had test that lesson as well but he couldn’t give a damn about studying yesterday when he was busy thinking about his feelings for the first time in his life. And what if in this fucking zombie limbo he was in, he accidentally confesses to Jongdae, telling him his newly discovered true feelings?

He was even more fucked.

Having a lesson with Jongdae usually meant one of his favourite periods but today he was anxious and the lack of sleep didn’t help in the slightest. How should he act? What if Jongdae sees through him somehow? 

He practically fell to his seat, struggling to catch his breath. Jongdae arrived not long after him just as school bell started ringing.

He realized then that when all of their friends teased them, Jongdae never said anything, only laughed it off, which probably meant he wasn’t aware of it as well.

Also, it probably hinted that Jongdae had been even more oblivious to Baekhyun’s crush than Baekhyun himself. That’s good. Great actually. That’ll buy him some time. 

He could suddenly breathe much easier.

Beakhyun contemplated going through some of his notes (ehm Jongdae’s) to know at least what the test would be about but gave up when he realized his head was still in the clouds and Jongdae’s presence just seemed to make everything more tense. 

Normally they would talk and laugh so loudly that their teacher would glare at them to lower their voices a bit. In most classes they had to sit apart, but this teacher took a liking to Baekhyun so she let it pass. Baekhyun assumed she didn’t mind when they played footsies under the table and doodled in each other’s notes.

However, right now, his spinning head was lying flat on the desk. 

“Are you okay? You look like death. Played games all night as usual?” Jongdae questioned him worriedly and now Baekhyun finally knew what everyone was talking about when they mentioned their lack of bubbles around each other. His friend’s face was just inches from his own. “You look kind of red? Are you sick?”

“Yeah, games.” Baekhyun said softly and absentmindedly, after a tense moment of silence which only made Jongdae’s frown deepen. Wow good fucking job at not making anything weird, he thought to himself. Gosh, he was such an idiot.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, just have to wake up a little bit. I’ll be fine after some coffee.”

“You loathe coffee.”

“Right. Just give me a minute.” Jongdae let him be, still shooting him a concerned glance once in a while. 

Baekhyun did great at pretending he was in his bed, not at school, far away from this mess and from Jongdae, which was actually the last place he wanted to be, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Reality hit him only as teacher placed a piece of paper in front of him.

Some quotations from the books he never read, a few questions that didn’t make sense and he already knew what his mark would be.

As he didn’t learn anything anyway, he might as well daydream a little longer. He decided to continue his dream that filled his hardcore two hour night-sleep in total, which involved a certain boy by his side and those pink lips of his that looked wonderfully slick with saliva, swollen red as he kissed along Baekhyun’s neck, to his chest and going lower-

“Pay attention stupid,” Jongdae whispered, slightly kicking his leg. All of his senses awakened suddenly as Jongdae let his thigh rest against his and now he knew he was going to fail the test for sure, all traces of his already nonexistent concentration completely gone.

Feeling only the warmth of Jongdae’s thigh, Baekhyun threw glances at him every now and then. Jongdae didn’t really pay attention to him anymore, focusing on his own paper.

His best friend’s sun kissed skin looked so smooth and Baekhyun felt, not for the first time in his life admittedly, a strong urge to touch it, to let his fingers wander and find every little mole. Jongdae let him get away with it sometimes, when he was really tired. 

His gaze moved over to his lashes which cast a beautiful shade over his high cheekbones and his lips, the best part. Always so plump with their own little curves that made him look so gentle and friendly. Baekhyun fantasized about what would it be like if he kissed them. Not just the friendly pecks they so often shared but a real kiss where he could trace his tongue over them, taste them, feel them. 

He wondered about all things that Jongdae could do with that mouth of his and how pretty it would look wrapped around his-

“Do you need help?” Jongdae spoke up suddenly. Pulling away sharply, Baekhyun realized that he started to lean in close to his friend’s face and hurriedly shook his head, more to clear his sinful thoughts rather than to reply.

“Thanks, I can manage,” he replied quietly and Jongdae raised his eyebrows at him before looking at his blank paper. 

Well, shit.

“It’s time to hand in your papers, gather them on the desk everybody. No need to talk,” their teacher announced loudly, a few students groaning, frustrated.

The test turned out to be quite hard. Baekhyun wouldn’t know.

 

 

“So,” a resentful voice shook with frustration. He knew he fucked up but he couldn’t even imagine the tragic consequences it would bring. “You failed another test?” 

Baekhyun gulped and lowered his head, ashamed. 

A few days passed and just as time went on, he also decided to learn from his mistakes. Baekhyun tried to ignore his feelings as much as possible when he was around Jongdae, so his face wouldn’t turn as red as tomato in front of him, because if their closeness was never a problem before, things could still be normal.

But it also meant that their English teacher stopped Baekhyun in the hall to tell him he really needed to try harder or he’s not going to pass her subject as his results were repeatedly... less than impressive, generally speaking.

“Look I can explain-” he tried a last attempt to defend himself, but it all seemed to be in vain. 

It was far too late.

“I don’t want to hear about it,” a heavy sigh interrupted him, the corners of his mouth lowering. Baekhyun wished he could just sink into the ground. “What am I supposed to do with you?”

“I-I don’t know, but I really couldn’t help it, I swear, it’s because of Jongdae-“

“Him again? Are you fucking kidding me?” The voice full of anger suddenly rose and Baekhyun didn’t know if he preferred the shouting or the quiet threatening earlier. “Everybody’s told you so many times and you act just like a sack of bricks. When the fuck are you going to tell him?”

“Tell him? Have you gone insane? It’s not that easy, Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun shouted from top of his lungs, sounding almost hysteric. A few students turned around, staring at them.

“Okay, okay, calm down. You sound like a siren, gosh,” Kyungsoo shook his head, shocked. He started to speak slowly, as if he thought Baekhyun would fail to understand him otherwise: “Look, you’re almost failing half the classes you two have together, don’t you think it’s time to do something?” 

“I can’t. What if he-?” the words were stuck in his throat, as if him voicing the possibility of rejection made it more real.

“I don’t think he could ever do that Baek. Besides the way he looks at you sometimes-” he trailed off, shaking his head slightly, wonder in his eyes. 

“But-”

“Even if he rejects you,” Kyungsoo ignored his friend’s slight wincing and carried on, “don’t you think it’s fair for him to know? And you wouldn’t have to pretend anymore.”

When Baekhyun didn’t answer, Kyungsoo finally stood up. “Think about it at least okay?”

He nodded, but he couldn’t really promise him anything.

 

 

“Aww, you failed,” soft voice cooed at him and Baekhyun was pretty sure this was heaven filled with his most favourite sound in the whole world. He pressed closer into the warm chest while Jongdae’s arms encircled him. “You’re like a sad puppy,” he continued, nuzzling him and lightly patting his head. Baekhyun stuck out his tongue at Kyungsoo who rolled his eyes at him. 

How different their reactions always were – but in times like these, Baekhyun didn’t mind messing up his academics in the slightest.

“I don’t know how it happened, I swear I forgot everything in that moment,” he tried to sound as miserable as possible to coach Jongdae to give him more cuddles. It worked. He felt himself being squeezed tighter.

“Like he ever knew anything about it to start with,” Kyungsoo mumbled under his breath, earning himself a loud laugh from Jongdae. 

“There there,” he patted Baekhyun again when he pulled out his extreme sulking expression. “How about I tutor you, hmm? Does tomorrow sound good?”

Beakhyun stiffened slightly. In reality spending time with Jongdae sounded great, but to spoil it with something so mundane as studying made it less appealing. But who he was to reject Jongdae?

“Sure, sounds great,” he pressed a light kiss against his sweater in thanks, and Jongdae beamed happily.

“Okay,” he declared loudly in an excited way of his and gently pried Baekhyun away before standing up. “I should bring you some fruit to cheer you up a bit,” he stated, starting to make his way back to the canteen. Such a great friend, Baekhyun thought as he watched him leave. Great friend with beautiful ass.

“I really can’t believe you hyung,” Sehun spoke up, earning himself everybody’s attention. “Aren’t you two basically married? So why don’t you just confess?”

“It’s not so easy, but you’re still a kid I guess, so you wouldn’t know,” Baekhyun replied, seemingly unbothered, trying his best to not fall into an obvious trap.

“Really hyung,” Jongin inverted, “what if there will be someone else? Someone who will start dating Jongdae-hyung before you? What if you miss your chance?” Jongin urged more. Of course he was right, but Baekhyun didn’t wish anything more in this moment than for him to shut up. He just voiced out his darkest fears in front of everyone but mainly himself and he couldn’t even stand the thought of someone-

“Let him be Jongin,” Sehun leaned in right in front of Baekhyun’s face, provocative smirk painting his lips, “hyung doesn’t have the balls.”

“You little-” Baekhyun started, getting into position, hoping that all his years spent learning hapkido wouldn’t fail him.

“I’m back!” a familiar cheerful voice announced and Baekhyun immediately sat himself down again. Jongdae placed a big bowl of fruit before him and chocolate bar before Sehun, which was his favourite. He ruffled Sehun’s hair before he took his seat. Baekhyun beside him just glared bitterly at the little devil because Jongdae doted so much on him. But Beakhyun knew the true colors of Oh Sehun.

But maybe, Baekhyun mused grudgingly, maybe his words had some truth in them.

 

 

Beakhyun knew he couldn’t carry on like this. Something had to change if he didn’t want to hide from his best friend for the rest of his life. He’ll have the perfect opportunity to say something on the Saturday that he’ll spend with helpful Jongdae who still pitied him and showered him with affection. Plus, the promising lack of friends who now sat before him, would be more than welcome.

Baekhyun called them for an emergency meeting, the first one that Jongdae wasn’t part of. All of his friends were looking at him carefully, knowing that this was important. 

“Okay so,” Baekhyun sighed deeply, ready to face his fate and possible demise. “I admit that I like Jongdae more than a friend-“ 

“Fucking finally,” exclaimed Sehun, standing up abruptly, before he was put in place with prod from Kyungsoo and glare from Baekhyun.

“-and I need-” Baekhyun continued, swallowing, the words heavy on his tongue, tasting sour and bitter at once “-I need your help. What should I do? How should I tell him? Show him?”

“I say, go to him and stick your tongue down his throat. Works every time,” Sehun leaned back, satisfied with his answer.

“Last time you tried that, you’ve got a black eye, Sehun,” Baekhyun mumbled. “So no.”

“Well, not everybody can bear the most handsome man on earth kissing them, that’s the tragedy of life.”

“Okay, it’s obvious that those idiots know nothing about romance,” Kyungsoo huffed impatiently, already looking like he wants to be anywhere else, “what if you cook him some dish that he likes? Then he realises for sure.” 

Everybody eyed him for a second, deadly quiet, not sure if he was actually serious. However, Kyungsoo looked back just as curiously, expecting approval. 

Well, looks like Kyungsoo was off the game, too. 

“No. Next?” Baekhyun’s eyes attacked Jongin who jumped in surprise.

“Just tell him everything hyung, what’s so hard about it?” Jongin proposed after few thoughtful seconds like it was the most obvious thing.

“That’s- wow, that’s the shittiest piece of advice I’ve ever heard in my life,” Baekhyun huffed, rolling his eyes.

“But it actually sounds completely logical?” Kyungsoo opposed.

“Who cares about logic. This whole situation isn’t logical at all, is it? It’s actually fucking cliché - in love with my best friend who doesn’t know about my feelings. Anyone else has something better?” Baekhyun asked for the last time, slowly losing his patience.

When everyone stayed silent, only frowning at the ground, Baekhyun knew that all hope was lost. He decided to take the matter into his very own hands which never ended well but a man has to believe in miracles if he wants to succeed. Besides he knew Jongdae the best, so why did he even ask for their advice in the first place?

“Well, looks like your relationship skill are just as bad as I dreaded-,” Baekhyun shook his head in disappointment before he was rudely interrupted. 

“You’re the only one who’s never had a relationship? Like ever?”

“-shut up, Jongin- so in order to get the desired reaction, I’ll do it in my own way.” With that, Baekhyun got up, leaving his astonished friends behind. 

Just as he was around the corner he caught a snicker which sounded suspiciously like Sehun’s: “Did he really called a meeting to ask for help only to say he’d rather fuck it up himself?”

Baekhyun would prove them all wrong.

 

 

It was actually kind of funny (except it really wasn’t) because Baekhyun rarely got nervous. He was the type who wasn’t afraid to take risks, jump into action without thinking and deal with consequences later. But now he found himself almost on the verge of a breakdown, thoughts running at a crazy speed, hands shaking.

He was pretty sure he would forget any words he prepared beforehand. In the end, he decided that he fucking needed to calm down and get back to his old self before he over-thinks and fucks up everything. 

The plan was to keep it simple.

Who needed some complicated conversation about feelings disgustingly similar to teenage romance movies so they can run into the sunset afterwards in loving embrace? Not him. Even though sunsets and hugging were nice.

But simplicity. Is. The. Best.

And Baekhyun should have known better. This wasn’t even the most romantic setting. After the whole day on a hot Saturday afternoon when Jongdae tried his best to get something into his head, Baekhuyn still didn’t remember anything. He could only keep on replaying Jongdae’s imaginary reaction when he finds out about the situation, while simultaneously trying to ignore any likely options of it going badly which his brain continued to helpfully throw at him. 

They lied sweaty on Baekhyun’s bed with various textbooks and notes across their laps. Both were already tired, Baekhyun from his constant anxiety and Jongdae from the extensive material he went through with him. 

Their parents were used to them sleeping together so it was never really a possibility that one of them would have to stay on the couch. Jongdae had his head on his shoulder while Baekhyun hugged him around the waist. Baekhyun was suddenly glad that Jongdae couldn’t see the sweat running down his temples, which wasn’t there because of the heat.

Okay. It was time. He had the perfect moment.

He opened his mouth to finally let it all out. He’s gonna tell him. Now. Like. Right now.

An inhuman wheezing sound came out instead, more likely belonging to a dying animal than him.

Fuck.

“Are you alright?” Jongdae turned to him in instant, brows furrowed with worry.

Baekhyun cleared his throat a couple of times, making sure to sound decent and well, like a living human being.

“Yeah, just some cold,” he murmured, surprising himself by how indifferent he sounded. Jongdae hummed in understanding and rested against his side once again.

This was perfect. Why ruin it with some confession? He already had everything. The most beautiful boy in his arms with a warm, content smile on his curled lips as he was falling asleep. Why ruin it at all? He could just stare at him forever and nothing more. His presence would be enough.

Except it wasn’t. He wanted more for as long as he could. He wasn’t left with anything else than blind hope that this selfish need wouldn’t cost him everything.

It was now or never. Baekhyun always took risks. He was just like that.

The familiar pressure on his chest returned, silencing his voice but not his courage. He was sure if he didn’t say the words now, he never would. It was like they were choking him as they tied his tongue into impossible knots, he had to-

“I love you,” Baekhyun finally gasped, breathless, heart beating so loudly that Jongdae could most likely hear it too. Sweat broke anew all over his face and armpits but he didn’t care, not blinking, not breathing. Seconds were dragging insanely slowly as he waited for any kind of response and every single one was killing him.

Jongdae finally, finally turned his head to burrow his face further into Baekhyun’s chest. 

“Love you too,” Jongdae mumbled sleepily, cuddling into him closer. “It’s nothing, don’t worry. I can feel your heartbeat y’know, I understand how nervous you must be. But it’s okay, I know your next test’s going to turn out great for sure.”

Baekhyun exhaled loudly, emptying himself of his held breath and his will to live. 

This was the first time he cursed how vocal about their affection they were with each other.

“Night,” Jongdae shifted, his lower lips ever-so-slightly scratching Baekhyun’s clavicle, breathy warm creeping on his neck. And- fuck. If Baekhyun wouldn’t pop the sleepover-with-Jongdae boner, it would be a fucking miracle. 

 

 

Okay, so last night was a fiasco but Baekhyun had a new strategy. Now that he found out that words are useless and stupid, he would go about it in a different way. He simply won’t say anything, letting actions speak for themselves and express everything needed.

He grinned, wanting to pat himself on the back. What a foolproof plan.

He looked around, searching for his friend because he wanted to do it now. Yes, that was right, he still believed that doing it in that exact moment, the fastest, non-hurting way possible was the best, like peeling off a patch. 

Because quickness wasn’t wrong, no, only words were.

His eyes lit up as he spotted Jongdae just across the hall next to library, arms full of books while talking to someone. Baekhyun started to happily make his way over before he recognized who he was talking to. 

It was Park Chanyeol.

Walking quicker, he got to Jongdae’s side, seething as he took in the tall boy’s appearance. Did he fucking grow? So much cruelty in this world.

“Hi Jongdae,” not even looking at said boy, Baekhyun’s eyes were trained on his target, gritting his teeth. “Hi.”

A devilish spark flicked across Chanyeol’s gaze as he stretched to his full height. “Hi Baekhyun, I was wondering where you where. You’re like a twins, it’s a rarity to see you two separate. Luckily your presence wasn’t needed this time.”

“Hmm,” Baekhyun replied, not really wanting to tire himself out with any kind of biting response. That could wait for some other time.

“Give me these books, they’re too heavy,” Baekhyun prodded Jongdae instead, rolling his eyes when the other stuck out his tongue, ducking from his reach. Baekhyun took only half of the books instead, a silent compromise. He was right – they were heavy.

Chanyeol frowned at them, murmuring “He didn’t let me carry a single one” and shook his head. “Anyway I’ll have to get going. See you on Friday, Jongdae, okay? Bye,” he flashed his famous blinding toothy grin at him before he looked at Baekhyun, giving him a dirty look, walking away.

Wait- fucking- what- they are- are they gonna-

“D-date?” Baekhyun spluttered, disbelief winning over betrayal. “With him?”

“Why not? He asked me out first, besides-” Jongdae shrugged, unsure tone twisting his voice: “I should date sometimes, shouldn’t I? That’s what teenagers do.” And of course they did – they went out, made out, broke up, found someone else – but never them. It was always two of them who stuck together. It was what lit a spark of hope inside of him. They didn’t need anyone else.

But now there was a sense of urgency. Now Baekhyun had a time limit.

“Do you wanna go and sit for a bit? On our bench?” Baekhyun asked, already tugging Jongdae along as the boy threw him a questioning gaze. It was their special place, where they hid when it needed to be just the two of them. They spent their breaks there, far from others. It was hidden behind an old birch and Baekhyun wanted privacy.

“Sure.”

It wasn’t very far and they sat down, setting books aside. Now the far too familiar tingling blossomed in Baekhyun’s chest once again. He took a few breaths to calm down and get ready to set his brilliant plan in motion.

Okay. No words.

Baekhyun kissed him on the right cheek because his trembling heart wouldn’t let him any nearer other’s lips. Jongdae giggled and kissed Baekhyun on the left cheek, not getting it.

“No, I mean-” Baekhyun tried again, picking up his courage and finally placing soft kiss on his lips. Jongdae frowned, confused, but without a second thought kissed Baekhyun in return.

“Baekhyun, what is it? That’s a lot of kisses. Did something happen?” Jongdae looked at him with concern.

Well, this wasn’t going according to expectations. Baekhyun started to panic slightly, suddenly feeling lightheaded. Why did they have to be also physically affectionate with each other? This just made everything so much harder. 

“Well, I – yes,” Baekhyun was still determined to not voice out anything regarding his true intentions even if his plan was falling into pieces.

“What’s wrong?” Jongdae alerted, examining his face. Baekhyun had to acknowledge that, rather than not offering any kind of explanation in pretence of following the plan, he was simply a coward. And a little bit of an idiot.

“I’m just nervous about Literature. Today’s the test. Just needed to- needed to calm down,” Baekhyun lied easily, as always when it was needed.

“Oh,” Jongdae smiled, effectively blinding the sun and everything else Baekhyun could ever see. “I’m sure you’ll do great. You studied so hard for it, right?”

“Y-yeah, of course.” –not.

But the encouraging smile was suddenly gone, uncertainty weighting Jongdae’s voice. “I still think something’s wrong.”

“Oh it’s nothing. Really,” Baekhyun carried on, not meeting the other’s eyes.

“Don’t bullshit me, I know when something’s going on. You can tell me. I’m here for you, you know that.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Baekhyun closed his eyes. It was too much. This is the first time he was hiding something from Jongdae and he would never imagine how uncomfortable and weird it would feel. He went through a lot of his first with Jongdae, be it the first fallen tooth or first detention. And he hoped they will still share many different first – first real kiss for example – but it seemed like nothing was going right.

Even Jongdae looked a little taken back. He slowly nodded and gave Baekhyun’s head a soothing pat. “Okay. Tell me later if you’ll want to.”

“I will,” Baekhyun promised him. “Soon.”

 

 

Of course Baekhyun failed the test. Nobody, apart from Jongdae, expected otherwise.

Instead of the comforting hugs he tried to lure out of his best friend, he got a deserved whack across the head this time, as Jongdae grumbled about more tutorial lessons and inborn idiocy.

But school wasn’t really on Baekhyun’s mind right now. Instead he found out he was running out of the options, fast. He was just as lost as he was at the start. He didn’t feel like seeing Jongdae anymore – couldn’t really bear to see him as he didn’t have the slightest idea of what to do.

He didn’t go on arranged study sleepovers, nor pick up numerous calls or reply to worried, confused texts. He didn’t even wait for Jongdae anymore, not having any desire to hear about his date. He chose to spend some time alone to go through everything.

After several days, Baekhyun reluctantly admitted that he had some explaining to do. 

 

 

He didn’t actually manage to sort out this massive mess of teenage hormones and mushy feelings into understandable confession and that was why he panicked when Jongdae grabbed him by his elbow before class the very next morning and demanded an explanation. With words. That would actually make sense.

Instead of traces of anger, all Baekhyun saw was a hurt look mixed with worry on Jongdae’s tired face, looking like he had not had proper sleep in ages. Baekhyun felt a distant hollow pang in his stomach, guilt twisting his insides.

“I was worried sick about you. I don’t know why you didn’t answer my calls or replied to any of my texts but if I did something wrong I’m sorry. I don’t think I did but you apparently spoke to everyone else so it has to include me for some reason. But I just don’t know.” Of course Jongdae didn’t do anything wrong, only Baekhyun did. Jongdae was just the cause for it all, and everything was far too complicated. 

Baekhyun didn’t have anything to say, fearing he would make it all worse, so he stayed silent, regretting every second.

“I asked Kyungsoo what’s going on,” Jongdae continued and the words made Baekhyun’s breath hitch.

“What did he tell you?” he finally broke his silence as claws of dread gripped him and panic suddenly flooded him.

“He didn’t want to tell me anything,” Jongdae replied tiredly, evidently frustrated with the fact.

“Oh,” Baekhyun exhaled. Kyungsoo may look like he wants to murder Baekhyun half of the time but he was a good friend. They may joke around a lot but only because they were so close.

“When will you tell me?” Jongdae looked so worried. What was the worst of all, he was worried because of Baekhyun, because he kept hiding, running away from words he knew would leave his lips sooner or later.

He will do it. For Jongdae. The boy deserved at least that much.

So he took a deep deep breath, deciding to stop running to finally face it all.

“Tonight.” 

 

 

Baekhyun planned on keeping his promise. 

All afternoon was spent with a pencil and a small notebook, trying to put everything he felt into simple phrases that somehow weren’t enough. Still he tried again and again, erasing the sentences only to replace them with new ones and erase and repeat. He really didn’t want to mess it up. He knew that if last chances existed, this was the one for him.

He still didn’t know what he would do if Jongdae rejected him. He would love to stay by his side as a friend only but doubted nothing would change between them. 

He couldn’t give up so easily though. There had to be a path for him to his own happy ending. 

Only a few minutes were left before his supposed time when he had to leave. He read through the text carefully, still feeling like something was lacking but perhaps it always would. Perhaps his love for Jongdae just wasn’t meant to be measured with words.

His heart could actually burst at that moment, hammering in his chest but only with anticipation and excitement. He was slowly getting used to it, unfocused, as he made his way to their bench.

He slowly took in his surroundings, to soothe his worries for a bit. The sun was already hiding under the horizon, painting the sky with livid colours, casting shades on everything, changing everyday beauty into something new. Baekhyun thought distantly, that this was the perfect scene. He was ready for everything new that was waiting for him.

It had to go well. Of course it would, the two were like two halves of the whole. They always understood what the other meant, they were soul-mates, Baekhyun was sure. How else would Jongdae deal with his annoying noisiness otherwise? And he with Jongdae’s whining?

They bought out the best in each other.

Baekyun had liked to daydream a lot these last few days he spent alone. He imagined how Jongdae would look at him after kissing, eyes full of love and excitement and warmth, so much warmth that Baekhyun already felt like he was going to melt. How they would shyly hold hands, only to laugh it off immediately afterwards because wasn’t it what they always did? They had always loved each other. Now they would just allow things to lead further, devoting to each other fully.

Baekhyun would be so good to him, as good as Jongdae’s smiles were. He would make sure Jongdae would always be smiling, always laughing, just how it should be.

But for it to happen, Baekhyun had to take this one step first. Step that make his breathing so uneasy and sweaty palms all shaky. After that, everything would be perfect.

He sat on the bench as he went through the text again and again until he finally spotted familiar figure walking towards him. Jongdae settled down close to his side and Baekhyun tried to keep his cool to appear as calm as possible. It was important to look like he had it together, after all.

Jongdae smiled uncertainly. “Why are you shaking?”

Okay, fuck expectations. 

Baekhyun took a deep breath, aware that he couldn’t back away anymore. The step was just before him and it would be his own doing that would change everything. It would only take a moment.

“I have a lot to tell you,” Beakhyun couldn’t remember the last time or ever maybe, that he sounded so serious, so resolved.

Jongdae could tell as well so he nodded, just as serious and sincere: “I’m listening.”

“Okay so,” Baekhyun started, dryness invading his mouth. He could do this. “I’ve had something to tell you for quite some time now and I’m sorry I’ve kept you in dark for so long. It took me some time to realize it myself and never in my dreams I would imagine it could affect me so much,” he gulped. 

Jongdae was giving him his full attention.

Now.

“I’m in love with you. I always was, I think. I’ve never wanted to be with anybody else. I love you. I want to be the person who will always make you happy. You make me want to improve myself to be better for you. I have never felt that way about anyone else. It was always you. It will always be you.”

Baekhyun took a shaky breath, still not daring to open his eyes. “I can’t imagine my life without you.”

And finally, he took in the sight before him, saw Jongdae’s mouth open in shock, confusion written all over his face. Something was wrong, Baekhyun could tell. Jongdae wasn’t smiling, not even looking at him anymore, avoiding Baekhyun’s gaze. His eyes shifted back and forth over the ground like he didn’t know what to do with the information Baekhyun just gave him.

Baekhyun could feel something cold and heavy settling in his gut, twisting. His heart was breaking, piece by piece, as it was never whole in the first place.

He had hoped that when the other opened his mouth to finally say something, it would make everything alright, make sense of all the mess. He still waited for the words he so desperately wanted to hear.

It was anything but what Baekhyun imagined.

“I-I don’t know about that, Baek. I need to think about it,” Jongdae didn’t look at him, never gave Baekhyun a chance to see the painful grimace on his face.

Some small part of Baekhyun was grateful as he’d probably never be able to forget it.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Jongdae’s voice was full of regret but it didn’t quite reach Baekhyun. 

With one last apology, Jongdae stood up and with fast steps left Baekhyun behind. He felt cold, so cold as all the warmth was taken away from him. His vision became blurry and his eyes stung until he could barely see anything.

This had to be a nightmare.

 

.....

 

“I’m so sorry,” Jongdae bit his lips as he repeated it again and again. He didn’t think he ever apologized so much in his life. But now it only felt natural, guilt never giving him any other option.

He didn’t know how to make it better. He couldn’t change his feelings, however much he’d like to, nor he could take back anything that happened. He hadn’t seen Baekhyun ever since that night as the other had to yet leave the house. And no, Jongdae didn’t go to see him. He doubted that the other would want him to.

Only Kyungsoo visited Baekhyun, promising to convey that Jongdae was sorry once again. The only thing he let on was that Baekhyun didn’t look very well. Kyungsoo refused to say more, claiming that Baekhyun didn’t say a word but Jongdae knew that was bunch of crap. Baekhyun always had something to say, broken hearted or not.

Jongdae didn’t have a slightest idea how to fix it. Wasn’t even sure if it could be fixed. What to do when you break your best friend’s heart? He would really appreciate some kind of manual, thank you very much.

It was everything he could think about. His closest friend, who was supposed to never leave his side, wouldn’t talk to him because he was hurt. And Jongdae was the one who did it to him even though he knew him like the back of his hand. Really, he knew him better than Baekhyun knew himself. The world had to be upside down.

“You should stop saying it to me,” Kyungsoo spoke finally, still as gloomy as he was since that day that Jongdae fucked it all up.

“I know, but I really am. I can’t stop thinking about it,” Jongdae sighed. He seriously didn’t notice anything. But how could he not? It had to be some cruel joke.

“How was the date with Chanyeol by the way?” Kyungsoo asked seemingly out of nowhere. So much happened since then that they never managed to talk about it.

“Oh,” Jongdae played with the hem of his shirt, distracted, “it was okay, I guess.” To be honest, Jongdae hadn’t thought about it ever since. “Chanyeol’s not really my type. He’s kinda nice though.”

“Nice? That’s weird,” Kyungsoo pondered. “I mean, he’s quite handsome and he plays guitar. I would think-”

“This isn’t really about my preference, is it?” Jongdae interrupted with a teasing smile on his lips. Kyungsoo’s cheeks were coloured, which was such a rare occurrence that Jongdae wished he could joke about it with Baekhyun. 

His smile quickly dropped.

“So you really... don’t feel the same about Baekhyun? I always thought-” Kyungsoo hesitated, careful. He wouldn’t let on more, but Jongdae could imagine what it was all about.

“No, I don’t think so. I mean... we were just always really close, you know that. I never wanted to hurt him. I can’t stand even thinking about it because he always only thinks about how to make everyone laugh. He’s the closest person to me, knows even the worst things I’ve done but never judges me. I didn’t judge him too y’know, it was just so sudden. How could I not know?” Jongdae gulped as guilt flooded him once again, silencing him. He should be getting used to it. “I just- I really miss his smile. It always makes me feel all warm inside when his eyes crinkle because it’s so beautiful and I can’t look away and-“

“I – I can’t believe this,” Kyungsoo gasped as he watched all too familiar scenery. “Jongdae, I trusted you,” disappointment crept into his voice as Kyungsoo kept looking at him with this look that he had usually reserved for Baekhyun. Jongdae was still watching him, confused, and really Kyungsoo just wanted to put his own head through the nearest wall. “Please stop acting this stupid and think about what you have just said.”

After few minutes of silence, Jongdae’s eyes widened.

“You two are really made for each other,” Kyungsoo moaned painfully but Jongdae with his “Fuck, I have to tell him!” was already out of the door.

 

 

It seemed even worse as Jongdae thought about it while he ran to Baekhyun’s house. He rejected Baekyhun even though he felt the same because he just didn’t know. But how could he not- well, this was getting old.

He had caused Baekhyun so much hurt because of his own stupidity. He really couldn’t fuck it up more, could he?

He just hoped that Baekhyun would forgive him someday.

 

.....

 

Baekhyun dragged his head from under the duvet to reach for another tissue.

He was pathetic. He spent the last few days in his room, crying while listening to sad breakup songs, occasionally wailing on the phone to whoever was willing to listen to him. Which was alarmingly less and less people.

And he just, he just whished it would stop. 

Every memory of Jongdae hurt, be it his laugh or the last lost expression he saw on him. He wanted to take everything back, tell everyone it was some bad joke and leave things as they were.

Because secret love or not, everything was better than this. The distant but always present pain in his chest, regret and sadness rooted into his bones. He closed his eyes for it to disappear for a while, hoping sleep would come to him. So it would just stop.

There was someone knocking at the door. Before Baekyhun could even manage to open his eyes, he heard a voice he would recognize everywhere. A voice so familiar that it was currently tearing his heart up even more.

“Baekhyun?” Jongdae’s eyes widened, his face twisting into shocked painful expression as he opened the door. Baekhyun figured he didn’t look his best, lying in the pile of tissues with swollen eyes and greasy hair. Not that he cared about such things anymore.

There was hesitance in Jongdae’s steps that Baekhyun hated because Jongdae was never like that around him. He felt tears in his eyes. It was because of him that everything changed. He just had to be so stupid and go and fall in love with his best friend and make everything weird.

“Can I?” Jongdae asked, still unsure, still so unlike him like he feared he would shatter Baekhyun with one wrong move. He sat on the edge of the bed slowly when Baekhyun didn’t reply. 

How their roles changed - this time it was him who couldn’t meet Jongdae’s eyes. He lost all the words he wanted to say a long ago.

“Sorry,” Baekhyun mumbled at least. Like it would help. Like Jongdae could actually forgive him-

“No, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I did this to you but I didn’t realize- Baekhyun, I love you too, okay? And I’d love to be your boyfriend if you still want me to. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you this when you confessed to me.”

Baekhyun listened quietly, slowly rolling the words in his head. Of course, Jongdae pitied him and tried to convince him to stop acting like a living dead. Sweet innocent Jongdae who would rather act like-

“You don’t believe me, Byun Baekhyun? Want me to prove it? Fine. I fucking love your stupid face and cute droopy eyes and dump blond hair, which are going to fall out by the way if you keep bleaching it, and your obnoxious laugh but most importantly-” Jongdae took a deep breath so he wouldn’t suffocate before he really told everything- “I love you.”

He leaned in, grabbing Baekhyun by the collar of his pyjamas to seal their lips together. He kissed so gently, like he was trying to convey what was being said into the kiss. 

Baekhyun felt overwhelming warmth on his mouth, in his chest, in his whole being as Jongdae held him like he was never planning on letting go.

It was all that Baekhyun needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Congrats if you made it that far and thank you very much for reading my fic!! Any sort of feedback would be very nice, be it kudos or comments :) also don’t hesitate to point out mistakes!


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